Is it a hat, is it a knife? It’s fucking both. Never be without a knife when you’re feeling stabby again. The Bill Blade is a kit that quickly ruins your favorite hat by attaching a knife to it. The perfect gift for the pirate who has everything.
Because quite frankly barbed wire is for pussies. If you’re serious about keeping people out of your bunker then you’re gonna need rolls and rolls of this razory goodness. Not effective against virus crazed loons or zombies.
Perfect for pirates and ninjas alike. These superbly balanced blades make a great present for young children ,as the have extra sharp edges and are absolutely lethal.
Fuck paintball. Shoot pepper spray pellets instead. This CO2 powered pistol fires paintball like pellets that release a cloud or pepper spray on impact. Giving you the ability to exert non lethal force to deter your mother-in-law from approaching at a greater distance. Also useful for prison guards and law enforcement.
Take perps down before they get close with the BolaWrap. This fires a thin but strong rope with tiny grappling hooks on each end. It effectively wraps around your targets arms or legs, safely incapacitating them while you restrain them. Perfect for Law Enforcement or safety conscious pirates.
Don’t put this phone to your ear or you’re likely to blow it off. The Ideal Conceal is a double barrelled derringer pistol, that folds away to look like a smartphone, and easily fits in your pocket. Check your state’s concealed weapon restrictions before you make a purchase – or move to a state that actually values freedom and buy what you damn well please.