Is it a hat, is it a knife? It’s fucking both. Never be without a knife when you’re feeling stabby again. The Bill Blade is a kit that quickly ruins your favorite hat by attaching a knife to it. The perfect gift for the pirate who has everything.
Only a pussy uses a bow to hunt a bear. True savages use a blowgun. That’s right imagine staring down an angry bear, armed with nothing more than a flute, a knitting needle and a huge set of balls. That’s basically big game blowgun hunting in a nutshell.
The Triton 3300-6 will take you and 5 of your fellow pirates to a depth of 1000m in luxury. It doesn’t come with torpedo tubes but I’m sure you could mount a spear gun on it. It goes deep enough you can hunt a colossal squid, just make sure it doesn’t hunt you.
When shit hits the fan and you need to head for the hills you’ll be glad you’ve got this US Army issue Rucksack. It’ll carry up to 120 pounds, and is designed to last a lifetime. It’s seriously heavy duty. Perfect for carrying large amounts of ammunition deep into the wilderness.
When the apocalypse happens don’t get caught without the correct pants. These combat trousers from Crye Precision are best pants for any kind of societal breakdown. They’re also pretty good for hunting.
The ultimate Tactical Watch. Built to military standards, with solar power to extend battery life. A kill switch in case you’re captured. Jumpmaster mode, waypoint protection. It even tells the time.
The serial killers best friend, do the deed and bury the evidence with versatile tool. Capable of cutting down a tree or a swarm of zombies. The zune camping shovel can even dig a hole. Perfect for snowmobilers, hikers, and psychopaths.
Sharp enough to shave with, beautiful enough to sleep with. This tomahawk is a woodsman’s wet dream. You’ll want to chop some shit up.
If a fallen tree blocks your path what are you gonna do boy? What are you gonna do? If you’re a savage you’re gonna whip a chainsaw out of your pocket and turn that log into firewood.
There’s a lot of ATV’s that pretend to do what the Sherp actually does. You can drive this thing from Cape Horn to the North Pole. Nothing can stop it, not ice, water, snow or mud. This beast is unstoppable. It holds 8 adults and has a matching trailer unit for serious expeditions. It’s also great for doing the school run.