Apocalypse Self Defence Spy Shit

Sneaky Cell Phone Gun

Don’t put this phone to your ear or you’re likely to blow it off. The Ideal Conceal is a double barrelled derringer pistol, that folds away to look like a smartphone, and easily fits in your pocket. Check your state’s concealed weapon restrictions before you make a purchase – or move to a state that actually values freedom and buy what you damn well please.

Apocalypse Combat Hunting Piracy

450fps Crossbow

This crossbow has a silent cocking system and can fire a bolt at 450 feet per second. It’ll kill a moose, or a zombie at 100 yards. If hunting vampires you’ll need a silver bolt. But it should be fine for bears with the standard arrows. So get out there in the mountains and get something to eat with this seriously savage crossbow from Ravin.

Apocalypse Combat Hunting Shoes

Quest 4D GTX Forces 2 Boots

These boots allow you to kick ass. They’re designed to be rugged enough to climb a mountain pass, slide down a scree slope, or ford a stream without getting wet feet. And still be flexible enough to allow you to take a knee when shooting, or sprint for cover when required. These are the best allround boots for people who think they’re “special operators”. Actual special operators may or may not wear them to.. That’s classified.

Apocalypse Hunting Vehicles

Personal Tank

The Ripsaw F4 is basically your own personal tank. With a top speed of 55mph it’ll get you wherever you want to go in record time. With room for 4 you’ll be able to take your crew deep into the wilderness. Rubber tracks mean you can park it in the garage without destroying the floor. (Although it does weigh 10,000 pounds so you might want to double check that.

Apocalypse Hunting Vehicles

8 Wheel Hunting ATV

Regardless of the terrain the Shaman ATV by AVTOROS will get you where you need to go. It’s amphibious, and runs on 8 low pressure tyres. Whether your plodding through loose sand in a dessert or driving through deep mud or snow. This is a vehicle designed to take you pretty much anywhere in comfort.

Apocalypse Camping Vehicles

EarthRoamer Apocalypse Camper

The EarthRoamer camper is the perfect post apocalypse vehicle. Equipped with two long range fuel tanks, solar panels on the roof and all the creature comforts. Plus the ability to go well offroad. And if things go all mad max then the front bumper is great for ramming bandits.

Apocalypse Combat Drones & RC Hunting Piracy

ROV Speargun Underwater Drone

Protect your yacht from frogmen with an ROV speargun. Is there really any point to seeing a fish with your undersea drone if you can’t shoot it?

Apocalypse Combat Hunting

Flamethrower Drone

Every prepper needs a flamethrower drone. If you haven’t got one are you REALLY prepared? No you are not. You can’t fight bees with a knife, or a gun, you NEED a flame thrower. Hand held or drone mounted is up to you (and the FAA if you live in the USA).

Apocalypse Burglary Combat Hunting

LED Tactical Weapon Light

Even a savage needs to know what the fuck he’s shooting at. Identify a zombie at 50 yards even on the darkest of nights with this super bright tactical weapon light.

Apocalypse Vehicles

Armoured SUV

If you don’t have an armour plated luxury SUV can you really even call yourself a man? The leather seats are easy to clean, blood, semen and whisky will all wipe right off. The windows can hold back a horde of zombies, and the 6.8 litre V10 engine has enough torque to pull down a statue.